Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
