i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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