Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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