soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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