The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
