i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
