I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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