am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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