Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
