Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
