thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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