is your mom at the bar?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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