I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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