I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
