Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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