it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
