I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
