mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
