you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
