we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
