Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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