saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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