I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize