How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
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