He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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