He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
