Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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