He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Randomize
