xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
