I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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