even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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