If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
