Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
