I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game