Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
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nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
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I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold