; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.