yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?