I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
