Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
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