He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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