College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
