just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
