this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
