what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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