Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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