I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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