So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
