I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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