i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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