i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just found puke in my bra..
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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