I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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