Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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