I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
How's work?
Spinning.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
