I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize