He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
