I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
