I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
