The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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