Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
