Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Randomize
