You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.