Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text