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• (323): View more from California

  Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.

  (562): View more from California

  The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt

  (323): View more from California

  fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me

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• (386): View more from Florida

  That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.

  (954): View more from Florida

  Apparently hers is a theme park.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again

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• 

  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (740): View more from Ohio

  he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out

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