Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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