if i can run in heels then i can drive
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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