I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
