Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
