Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I still have a little drunk in my system
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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