you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize