You can't motorboat a personality
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
