Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
