This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
