i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
