Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
